Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Ism #5: That's not a Hat

My first semester of college, I went with a few friends to visit a restaurant downtown. We sat at an outdoor table, where a couple empty water glasses stood next to the chairs. At one point, one of my friends picked up his hat and started wearing it in a goofy fashion. Playing along, another friend picked up a pair of glasses and started wearing them like a hat. Not wanting to feel left out, I tried to find another piece of clothing. Unable to locate one, I decided to settle with the water glass. I turned it upside down, placed it on my head, and immediately realized two things.
1. It wasn't empty.
2. It wasn't a water glass.
That was one scary drive home.

Ism #4: Honesty is a Virtue

2nd Grade. Thanks to a little show I call Blue's Clues, I had a little habit of correcting people, adults or otherwise, whenever I thought they were wrong. This habit had not really become a burden until one fateful school morning...
It was the kickoff assembly for our annual magazine sales! I'm sure most of you remember that wonderful time of the year. The announcer got on the stage to make this trivial child labor routine exciting! When teaching us how to sell in an appealing manner, he adds, "But that might be harder for you than for me. 'Cause you know I'm beautiful. You're all fat." I couldn't take that blatantly false statement sitting down. Standing up on my seat, I puffed up my shoulders and boldly proclaimed, "No, you're fat!"
I'm pretty sure I've never shocked my teacher as much as I had that day...